DFA Declares War on the Dreaded “X”

Arkansas is now the battleground for the most crucial cultural war of the 21st century: driver’s licenses. 

The Arkansas Department of Finance and Administration (DFA) has heroically declared war on the X. 

No, not the mutant kind, but the dreaded gender-neutral “X” designation on driver’s licenses. Because in Arkansas, you’re either an “M,” a “F,” or, well, you’re just plain wrong.

DFA Secretary Jim Hudson, who suffers from an allergy to progress, has bravely decided that licenses must reflect the gender listed on Arkansans’ birth certificates. Finally, we can all rest easy knowing that our licenses accurately represent our biological bits, because nothing says “safety” like ensuring everyone’s paperwork matches their plumbing.

When asked about instances where the “X” designation led to fraud or caused problems, DFA spokesperson Scott Hardin went silent, likely pondering the metaphysical implications of an “X” on a piece of plastic.

Governor Sarah Huckabee Sanders, champion of the biologically binary, has praised DFA’s move.  Thank the Lord our state gov rushed to address this issue instead of solving chronic healthcare, infrastructure, and hunger problems. THIS IS BOLD LEADERSHIP, FOLKS. 

While other states move towards recognizing nonbinary identities and promoting equality, Arkansas boldly stands as a beacon of draconian tradition.