The State of Delusion

At the kick off of the legislative session, Sarah Sanders’ State of the State address doubled as a fan letter to Trump and a culture war greatest hits album.

Arkansas, she proudly declared, is the “vanguard of a national conservative revolution.” A bold proclamation, and in no way true, not even for the staunchest national conservatives.

During the short speech, Sanders touted her legislative priorities with the kind of confidence usually reserved for someone who just discovered the phrase “woke nonsense” and decided to make it a lifestyle.

At the top of her list: “Arkansas ACCESS,” a higher ed plan designed to simplify college applications and, apparently, weed out instructors guilty of the grave sin of thinking critically. Don’t worry, though; she clarified this isn’t censorship. It’s “common-sense conservatism,” a term that now covers everything from banning books to vilifying teachers.

Not far down on the list is public safety: with a $330 million commitment to a new 3,000-bed prison—plus another $75 million tucked away just in case, Sanders is taking bold steps to, uh, incarcerate her way to safety. Critics have pointed out the lack of transparency and community input on this project, but it’s falling on deaf, inefficient government ear. Love a prison build that residents didn’t ask for and can’t afford — BOLD!

Let’s not forget that she wants to bar “foreign adversaries” from owning farmland. How this solves any immediate problem in Arkansas is unclear, but it’s a win for anyone whose nightmares involve soybean espionage.

On the positive side, Sanders has pledged to make school breakfasts free and eliminate the grocery tax. A rare beacon of hope, indeed.

All in all, the gov’s speech was a dazzling display of priorities: less indoctrination, more incarceration. If you feel gross about this, don’t worry — that’s just what it’s like living in the “vanguard” of the revolution.