SHS: Arkansas is taking off; Arkansans: Is it tho?
She’s the superhero Arkansas never knew it needed, protecting the state from imaginary threats with the flick of her pen
It’s a damn shame that Sarah has to spend her time writing op-eds to convince Arkansans she’s not terrible at her job. Despite being loathed across the political spectrum, she hasn’t given up on trying to get people to like her! We admire the tenacity. And the commitment to spinning lies.
In her one-year-gubernatorial-anniversary piece for Talk Business and Politics, Sanders takes credit for a laundry list that includes everything from nothing-burger executive orders to nationally scorned gaffes.
Take, for example, the braggadocious touting of Dassault Falcon’s investment. Recollect that her trip to the Paris Air Show is what led to #Lecterngate and accusations of she was cheating on Donald Trump with Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin. That solid strategy led to a special legislative audit of her office– an unprecedented investigation into the cover up of altered financial documents. Winning!
Now let’s examine Sarah’s grandstanding on her bold, conservative policies, like cutting taxes and boasting about surpluses. Is this real life? Does she even go here? Members of her own party know she has zero fiscal responsibility and national media outlets say she has a spending problem. Friends, those tax cuts are not for us. They are for Bryan’s Walmart buddies and are simply a means to get Sarah more Fox News segments.
But wait, there is more. Sanders fancies herself as the education governor. For example, she raised teacher salaries in order to force the passage of the most terrible education package known to man. The results are exactly what everyone expected: charter takeovers, rich private school families lying about disabilities to abuse tax payer funds, erasing minority history, teacher shortages and four day school weeks, and an educational culture of fear and distrust. Shakin’ up the status quo, amirite!?
Crime and safety are certainly on Sarah’s laundry list of non-accomplishments, too. Quick question: how does a brand new Republican governor manage to piss off her entire Board of Corrections, led by a fellow Republican that her DAD appointed to the position when he was governor? That sure is some kind of political finesse. But go on girl, pat yourself on the back for being so bad at your job you have to throw tenured public servants under the bus for your PR stunts.
We’d be remiss if we didn’t mention Sarah bragging on her Natural State Initiative, a fairy-tale endeavor with her husband Bryan to allegedly boost outdoor recreation. Because nothing says “I care about Arkansas” like initiatives that are made in secret to slyly scoop up land from rural people, overhaul the status of the Buffalo River to make your friends richer, and then not have the guts to face the music when county folks call you on your bullsh*t. Great work, Gov!
Oh, and… 1) No boys in women’s sports, 2) no made-up words, and 3) no actual, substantive change for regular people in Arkansas. She’s the superhero Arkansas never knew it needed, protecting the state from imaginary threats with the flick of her pen.
Sarah may have had a whirlwind of a year, but it seems the wind has blown away any sense of self-awareness. Keep spinning those yarns, ma’am. Arkansas deserves a storyteller as exceptional as you.
